We left Texas for New Mexico at 3:00 PM and yet I’m at the New Mexican border, an hour’s drive away, typing this up at 3:00 PM! How’d I do it? Magic? Teleportation? Nah, we just entered the Mountain Time Zone.

This morning in Amarillo, we drove to Palo Duro Canyon, the second-largest canyon in the United States, to go horseback riding. At first, we were in a rush to get to our 10:00 AM appointment at the Old West Stables located within the park. However, upon arriving at the park entrance, the ranger told us that our appointment would have to be rescheduled because it rained and flooded last night. This allowed us to take our time the rest of the way through and it’s a good thing. The winding road through the canyon snaked all the way down to Old West Stables and a lot of turns provided no guardrails. The 35 mph speed limit signs were no joke.

It was as beautiful as it was scary. Multicolored layers of exposed canyon walls gave the mesa and hoodoo rock formations red, light brown and white stripes, and it extended for miles. The steep descent eventually led to Old West Stables where we learned they would indeed take us horseback riding without having to reschedule. I’m glad that we didn’t take the park ranger’s word and try to gas up or eat lunch before checking it out for ourselves.

Old West Stables gave us a fantastic deal when we pre-booked the horseback riding appointment over the phone. It was just $35 each for an hour-long guided tour of a canyon trail. I was surprised that they still took us this morning, not because of the rain the night before—this place is very dry, so there were few streams remaining—but because only two other people showed up. It was nice for us because the four of us had a small intimate tour of the canyon with two helpful guides on horseback. But at these prices, I don’t know how they do it.

The streams actually made the experience more fun while riding my horse, Sooner, named after the eager settlers of Oklahoma who claimed land before it was legally open for settlement. She too was quick to gain ground, especially when it came to crossing the very shallow, not-even-ankle-deep streams.

All of the runoff water was located in miniature valleys, so my horse would charge down a tiny hill, splash through the streams as quickly as possible and immediately climb up a symmetrical hill on the other side. The vertical terrain taught me some unanticipated balancing techniques that I learned on the fly while riding the horse and it made for a bumpy, but exhilarating ride. For the not-so-steep price of $35, this steep descent into the country’s second largest canyon proved to a better experience than the flat, docile horse trail that I traveled a couple of years ago in Aruba.

As soon as the hour was up, I dismounted Sooner, thanked our first-rate guides and we drove to the top of the outlook point to take an incredible panoramic photo of the canyon on the way out. From Palo Duro, we filled up on crucially-needed gas and ate lunch at a Sonic Drive-In, another fast-food restaurant I’ve never been to before this roadtrip. Instead of eating in the car, we ate outside because it was so hot and the car is packed with luggage and my belongings.

Now in New Mexico, we stopped at the visitor’s center to photograph the nearby state sign and spotted a man riding from the center into Texas… on a horse. We had to take a picture of that, too. It’s not everyday you see someone crossing state lines on horseback. We have to go the other way, on a horseless wagon, into New Mexico to tonight’s destination: Santa Fe.

New Mexico’s sign includes green and red chiles, a staple of this self-proclaimed “Land of Enchantment” state. We tried them first hand when we arrived in Santa Fe and ate dinner at the award-winning burger restaurant, Bobcat Bite. George saw it on an episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives on the Food Network and it’s the sole reason we went to Santa Fe instead of Albuquerque.

Bobcat Bite is also the one and only reason we stayed at the Bobcat Inn next door. This pueblo-styled bed and breakfast was inexpensive for a B&B and conveniently located within walking distance, so after checking in at 6:30 PM, we hurried on over to sit down at Bobcat Bite, which closes at 7:50 PM. The odd closing time is due to an old 8:00 PM curfew that has since expired.

Although I’m usually a plain ketchup-and-mustard burger guy, I ordered the green chile cheeseburger with fried onions on top. George said that it was the best burger he’s ever tasted. Mine started to fall apart halfway through, but I still enjoyed the unique flavor of this Santa Fe-exclusive burger.

Rain crept in with the sunset as we finished our meal, so we hurried back to the B&B and scanned our rooms we’re staying in since they’re filled with unique ornaments. In addition to decorations like a stuffed bobcat and the skull of a longhorn steer, the Bobcat Inn includes free wireless Internet access, ideal for this quick update before turning in early. We have to wake up at the crack of dawn to drive to Mesa Verde, Colorado, where we camp for the first time on this roadtrip.

As the sun rose, so did we… gingerly. This is the earliest we’ve woken up, but we’re determined to get to Mesa Verde on time. Because of our early exit time, we had to forgo the breakfast part of the Bob Inn Bed & Breakfast. Instead, the owner provided us with healthy cut-up fruit in the refrigerator, which we ate before hitting the road.

Before leaving Santa Fe, we ventured into the center of town to see the oldest active church in the country, the San Miguel Mission. Supposedly built in 1610, it has been destroyed and rebuilt a number of times: destroyed in 1640, rebuilt five years later in 1645; destroyed in 1680, rebuilt thirty years later in 1710. Although this petite chapel is still open today, it was closed at the early hour we arrived. On top of that, clouds set in and it started drizzling, so we spent only a couple of minutes observing before making our way to the Colorado state border.

About an hour before seeing the Colorado sign, we spotted what seemed to be a wolf and other figures etched into large cliffs along US Route 84. Whether these carvings were man made or are naturally occurring and just a coincidence, we got out of the car, stretched our legs and took some panoramic photographs.
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Each chapter of my junior-year high school history textbook began with an iconic two-page photograph, a way to represent whatever we were about to learn in that American studies class. My teacher, known by the initials PJK, lectured using a litany of fascinating stories, many of which he lived, instead of reading from the text. Yet, for some reason, we were still required to haul the giant textbook to class. That resulted in a near-hernia. More notably, it resulted in me keeping the opening page of each chapter on top of my desk. My ears remained open and my head faced down looking at the photo spread for each 41-minute class period. One of those chapter photographs featured the Cliff Palace ruins at Mesa Verde National Park and I told myself that one I’d explore it.

I hadn’t thought too much about Mesa Verde since high school and it wasn’t part of the original route to Los Angeles. We intended to go through Santa Fe, continue on to Flagstaff and wake up and attempt to complete the final stretch to LA in one day. From there, the original itinerary called for backtracking a bit to Las Vegas (since it wasn’t on the way originally) and spending the remaining time in Hollywood: going to Disneyland, attending a TV show taping and checking out a Dodger’s game. About a month before setting out, I typed “Mesa Verde” into Google Maps just to see if I could factor it into the route. Southwest Colorado was a little bit out of the way, but then, in a domino effect, I discovered Four Corners, Arches National Park, Monument Valley and Zion National Park. From that point forward, our Los Angeles activities (stuff we could always do in the future) were out. Camping was in. I was finally going to see Mesa Verde in person.

The web site for Mesa Verde National Park proved to be the most helpful source of trip-planning information out of all of our stops. The remaining national parks are tied for second. The NPS, along with the DOI, are a government agency and department that have their acts together. Maps, price guides, hours of operation and even a coupon for ice cream are all on one centrally-located web site. But, while a lot of the information about this park is 21st century, tickets for touring the ruins within still had to be bought in person. Even with our early wake-up time of 5:45 AM, we arrived at 1 PM. We paid the $15 per car entrance fee and rushed to drive 15 miles to the Far View visitor’s center before all of the ideal ticket times were exhausted.

I noted in my itinerary that the park speed limit was 35 MPH, but figured we could do 39 without much trouble. Instead of doing four over, however, we ended up driving four or more miles under the speed limit. The roads curved up intimidating hillsides, sometimes without guardrails, and although we arrived at the park entrance at 1 PM, we didn’t step into the visitor’s center until 1:30 PM.

If you ever plan on visiting Mesa Verde, read this…
In painstakingly planning ahead for this trip, I discovered that the iconic Cliff Palace ruins had a limited, 20-person nighttime tour dubbed “Twilight in the Palace.” It’s not mentioned on the NPS web site or heavily advertised at the visitor’s center. I came across it while reading the NPS’ not-so-Google-friendly PDF file here. This clutch brochure is also where I found the Buy 1, Get 1 Free ice cream coupon. The Twilight tour is $10 compared to the daytime fee of $3, but this rare, dusk-set access is twice as long and worth every penny. Luckily, people didn’t want to pay the extra $7 or, more likely, didn’t know about the tour since tickets were still available by the time we arrived. We also bought $3 tickets for the Balcony House and a daytime Cliff Palace tours to get a different perspective of the ruins and to recreate our memorable high school textbook photo with as much sunlight as possible.

Balcony House, known as “The Adventurous Cliff Dwelling Tour,” involves climbing a 32 ft. ladder, crawling through a 12 ft.-long tunnel and then climbing a 60 ft. open rock face with two 10 ft. ladders. This ancient obstacle course, along with the incredible mountainside views and knowledge of ceremonial Kivas, was worth $3. Also, driving to the tour gave us a chance to witness the vast destruction of wildfires.

The route to Balcony House (or nearby Cliff Palace) cuts through an eerie-looking burnt forest. “Earth-scorched” is the one term that comes to mind when you go from trees that are full of leaves and life to ones that are impossibly bare in the summer, as if this were the dead of winter.

The Spruce Tree Terrace is food court where we ate the fastest late lunch we could find in between the Balcony House and Cliff Palace tours. We literally had to eat in 7 minutes and one of those minutes was taken up to buy bottled waters. These waters would be crucial in the late summer heat, as you will soon read.

Arriving in the nick of time, we joined the tour group at Cliff Palace Overlook, where people were just finishing taking photos of the ruins from a high vantage point. This is the spot at which my high school textbook photograph must have been taken, so as soon as everyone started down the first trail, I made sure I took a minute to capture about a dozen pictures myself.

Cliff Palace descends about 100 ft. into the canyon on a steep trail and includes 120 uneven stone steps. The trail isn’t as strenuous as one at Balcony House, however, we did run into difficulty when the tour wrapped up and everyone began to ascend. A girl, in her early 20s, had passed out at the foot of one of the ladders while the ranger was giving his long speech about the ancient inhabitants in the hot sun. No one had noticed but George and I; we fortunately stuck around to take more photographs while everyone else was climbing the adjacent hill. Being closest to the top of the ladder, I had George throw me his bottled water and I raced down the ladder front first and skipped the last couple of rungs, nearly landing in the Kiva pit. I offered her water while George called over the unaware ranger. Of course, in addition to being half out of it, she was French and didn’t understand a word we were saying. It took the rest of the water bottle and 25 minutes to guide her to the top of the summit. This meant that the Twilight Palace tour was going to start soon and we didn’t have enough time to set up our campsite at Moorefield campground. We’d have to pitch the tent in the dark!

Because George and I were helping the passed-out French girl, we missed the end of the daytime Mesa Verde tour. So, I was glad that we were about to get a chance to do it all over again, this time as the sun was setting. The unique “Twilight in the Palace” tour began at 7:00, when Ranger Kevin Lloyd slipped on a pair of glasses and into the character of Mesa Verde’s first scientific superintendent Jesse Logan Nussbaum. Staying in character the entire time, he told us about the “present day” excavation of Mesa Verde all the way up to his retirement in 1946, long before the wildfires we saw driving along the Cliff Palace loop. Kevin/Jesse was full of information that we didn’t hear on the previous tour and he told it from a historical perspective. Plus, this was a twenty-person group, meaning we were given as much time as we wanted to ask him questions.

At the end of the 90-minute tour, as darkness was setting in, we were given a chance to sit on the window ledge of the tallest pueblo at Cliff Palace (you can tell which one I’m talking about by looking at any Cliff Palace photo) and then lean back to view the ancient markings on the ceiling and upper walls. This was done one at a time and could only be viewed in conjunction with a camera flash. Just don’t forget to bring a charged camera with if you’re lucky enough to attend this intimate tour. Also, this year’s “Twilight at the Palace” ran from May 24 to September 7, 2009, so plan accordingly like I did; it was worth it. Meticulous planning and research provides once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that might otherwise be missed.

As soon as the Twilight tour finished, we ran up the steep incline and into to my car. Not only did helping the passed-out French girl mean we had to set up our tent in the dark, but we also had to drive down the mountainous terrain in pitch black in order to get to the Morefield campsite. Knowing that there weren’t guardrails in some spots, we decided to take it slowly; very, very slowly. The extra bit of caution was highly appropriate because we saw wild horses jump out in front of the car. Coming from the northeast, I’m used to deer doing the same thing, but seeing a pair of large, untamed horses gallop a few feet in front of my windshield was a completely new/scary experience!

After that incident, the balance between taking our time and being in a rush to get to the general store (where we needed to pick up our campsite registration before it closed) became one-sided. We didn’t care if it was approaching 9 PM anymore. After all, we paid for a camping space over the phone by wisely reserving it through a credit card. We just needed to find out where to go. Even though we arrived shortly after 9 PM, someone was there and opened up to show us where to go on a map. It was still difficult to navigate in the darkness, even with the map. However, we found an empty camping space and set up the tent, with much aggravation.

It took three times as long to do pitch the tent tonight then when we did a test-run in my backyard before the trip. I’m not sure what made things more difficult: the darkness, having woken up at 5:45 AM or the full day of hiking when we weren’t driving and driving when we weren’t hiking. But, we have three more nights of camping, so there’s plenty of time for improvement. Now, it’s all about sleeping and focusing on the fact that I made it to Mesa Verde; I finally posses the photograph that I wanted to take eight years after seeing the original in history class.

We woke up, packed up and gassed up in Mesa Verde National Park, then ate lunch at the Burger Boy Drive-In (400 E Main St Cortez, CO 81321) in neighboring Cortez. There was nothing exceptional about this drive in, except maybe the 3-D Burger that George ordered. I wisely stuck with the single patty. This fast food restaurant just happened to be on the way to Four Corners Monument, the only point in the United States where four state borders intersect.

Four Corners Monument is about an hour from Cortez and absolutely nothing is in between the two except a stretch of desert. Since the land is on a Navajo reservation, the members of the U.S.’s second largest tribe (the first being Cherokee) encircle the raised plague and platform with tiny shops. We took a number of photographs while touching all four states at once. Then, we treated ourselves to a snow cone and I bought a shot glass. It said “Four Corners” and depicted the boundaries of the states.

We both had trouble receiving cell phone service out in the middle of nowhere, but wanted to see if this was truly the middle of the four states. To do that, we loaded up the Twitterfone application for iPhone, which allows Twitter users to add their GPS coordinates to a tweet via Google Maps. Our intention was to take a half hour at Four Corners and move on. But, because we attempted and failed to send the tweet from this data-desolate area so many times, it ended up taking twice as long. Just as I was about to give up, my tweet finally posted (George managed to post his, too) along with this twitpic of me in four states at once.

We are now able to proceed to Utah and Arches National Park.

Utah is home to some of America’s most magnificent national parks, a discovery that I made while planning our trip to this underrated state. So, in an unprecedented roadtrip move, we decided to take three nights to camp across the home of the Ute, the Native American tribe from which this mountainous state’s name is derived. Previously, Tennessee was the only state where we stayed more than a single night, partly because it’s so a wide and partly because there’s a lot to do in Memphis. Whereas Knoxville was more of a forced stopover, we wanted to visit every one of the stops in Utah, beginning with Arches National Park.

The road from Four Corners to Arches National Park made us backtrack through southwest Colorado for a couple of minutes by heading the opposite way on US-160. The first time we were traveling along 160, on the way to Four Corners, I noticed a small two-lane road that was perpendicular ours, which is significant only because there are very few roads that intersect with the highway. The land is flat and barren, so we could see all sorts of nothing down this right turn, as far as the Earth would let us view until it curved. I remarked “Wow, that seems like to road to nowhere.” No surprise, that road turned out to be Colorado-40, our path to Arches.

At the end of CO-40, we reached the Utah state border and took pictures in front of the “Welcome to” sign. It’s more colorful than previous state signs, featuring snow-capped mountains, the iconic Delicate Arch and a skier from the 2002 Winter Olympic Games held in Salt Lake City. We’ll be seeing plenty of mountains at Zion National Park in two days and the Arches in a few hours. But, we won’t get to check out any of Salt Lake since it’s to the northwest, the opposite of where we are right now. One day, though, I hope to explore what lies in the north of this vast state.

Friedman: There’s no such thing as a free lunch
The Good News: We arrived at Arches National Park at 6 PM to find out that this is a fee free weekend thanks to an economic stimulus plan by the DOI. The Bad News: The plan worked. Everyone decided to come to Arches, which means that although we saved $10 because there’s no car entrance fee, we had to book a hotel because all of the campsites were taken.

Devil’s Garden, the campground where we had intended to sleep, would’ve cost $20. We ended up staying in the neighboring town of Moab at a Super 8, which cost $80. That’s a 400% increase! Thankfully, it was 3 minutes from the park entrance and offered hot showers, free WiFi and limitless electricity so we could recharge our electronics. You have to be very disciplined with a cigarette lighter when you have a constantly-powered GPS, two digital cameras batteries, a video camera battery and two always-draining iPhones, one of which is playing music through the car’s stereo at all times. We were smart enough to bring a splitter for the cigarette lighter, but that piece of crap broke within the first hour of the trip.

Moab had the feel of a college town with people walking around the suburb-like city. It reminded me of Penn State during perfect late spring or early fall days. We ate at a restaurant called Eddie McStiff’s after debating whether to try something original or something that we knew was going to be good like Wendy’s. We’ve done a decent job of avoiding fast-food chains and continued with that policy in Moab. Plus, Eddie McStiff’s had a funny name to it, so how could we pass it up? I ordered their menu’s corned beef Reuben, which was good, but nothing beats the Frasier Street Deli versions of the sandwich. We ate and called it a night. Even though Arches National Park is conveniently open 24 hours, we decided that it would be better to see the arches in the daylight before moving on to Monument Valley.

When we woke up the next day, we found out that the Super 8 was clutch for yet another reason: It offered a free continental breakfast in the morning. So, while the last of our electronics recharged, we helped ourselves to eggs, bagels and apple juice. Since this wasn’t a planned hotel, I didn’t write down the check out time on my itinerary, so George called up to ask, “Is the check out time 11 AM or 12 PM?” The clerk replied, “Yes, it is!” We found out it was 11 AM, so we quickly packed up our gear and headed to Arches National Park.

If you ever plan on visiting Arches National Park, read this…Water! Brings water! You have some water? Good. Bring more. The sun beats down on this arid desert and you’re hiking seemingly endless trails that provide no shade until you get to the distant arches. That’s how we felt with water. We almost went without because we had driven passed the visitor’s center near the entrance and didn’t want to waste time turning around. Tacking on 10 minutes to buy bottled water ended up being the decision that allowed us to see Delicate Arch. Otherwise, we would’ve given up or passed out.

Delicate Arch is the most iconic out of the park’s more than 2,000 naturally formed rock arches. It can be seen on everything from license plates to stamps, so if there’s one arch to see in person, this is it. The 1.5-mile hike from where you park is rated moderately strenuous. Just make sure you have enough water, a pair of hiking boots and enough physical energy to make it there and back for a roundtrip of 3 miles in the hot sun. We went at noon in mid-August, so other times of the day or months of the year may prove easier if you’re not used to hiking.

As we took breathtaking pictures in front of and underneath the Delicate Arch in the heat, we could see snow-capped mountains in the distance. With a little Google Maps research, I found out that they are the La Sal Range, part of the southern Rockies and a 50-mile drive from where we’re standing. We saw the rest of the arch formations from Arches Entrance Road, stopped to eat at that the Wendy’s we passed up in Moab yesterday and are now headed to Monument Valley before it gets dark.

The last movie that my dad and I watched before the roadtrip was The Searches, a John Ford-directed western from 1956 starring John Wayne. It prominently features Monument Valley with such inspiring cinematography that these unique sandstone buttes and red-rock monoliths are now a staple of the American West. Ford used Monument Valley as his set almost exclusively, filming nine movies here, even when a script wasn’t set along the Utah-Arizona border where the park is located. Case in point, The Searchers is supposed to be set in Texas. It has that strong of a presence. It’s the openness of the arid desert and then how the Earth violently shifts to steep rock formations that rise out of the ground like nowhere else in the world.

Monument Valley was the real star of John Ford’s pictures. The lasting effects are seen in today’s movies, TV shows, album covers, cartoons, videogames and commercials. Almost everything that’s supposed to represent the American west uses Monument Valley. From now on, every time I flip through a magazine or up and down the TV channels and stumble upon something random that uses Monument Valley, whether it’s John Wayne’s breakout role in 1939’s “Stagecoach,” Back to the Future III or even a Road Runner cartoon, I can say I camped there.

The openness of this authentic American frontier meant that Monument Valley and its surroundings are very desolate compared to Moab, the college-like town where we stayed last night. We first noticed this when trying to take a detour around the nearby Mexican Hat rock. This sombrero-shaped formation has a 60-foot wide rock resting on top of a smaller rock, giving it the distinct look of a Mexican Hat. While it’s been featured in several movies, including Disney and Pixar’s computer animated film Cars, and a lot of people talked it up at Arches, the road around it was unpaved and no place for my 1997 Corolla. Having almost gotten stuck on the very hilly dirt terrain, we took some quick photos, made an immediate U-Turn on the narrowest of ditch-like roads and continued on the paved US-163 to Monument Valley.

Like Four Corners, the Najavo run Monument Valley, so it’s not a National Park but a Native American reservation. This means that the fee free weekend being offered by the DOI for economic stimulus isn’t in effect here. Still, the $10 camping rate and $5 a person entrance fee would’ve been worth it even if we were allowed to only drive on US-163 and take in the miles-long spectacular views.

We quickly discovered that we’d get a whole lot closer than we had ever imaged. Upon passing through the gate and proceeding on the park’s unpaved road, we were lead to the campground, which was almost empty. We weren’t even sure if this was really the campground. There weren’t many signs, there was literally two tents on this flat stretch of land and it was a stone’s throw away from Mitten View, the most recognizable formation in Monument Valley. We were hesitant to setup because we thought that it was so close that we shouldn’t be allowed to camp here. It was that unbelievable. When we spotted a small “Primitive Campground” sign (which is the understatement of the year), we realized that we could camp wherever we wanted. Naturally, we staked out the tent as close to Mitten View as possible and promptly set up. It was a much faster and smoother experience than the previous camping night.

In the midst of pitching the tent, we noticed two white vans of young French tourists who were temporally using the campground to party. About a dozen girls were listening to loud foreign music on the roof while a dozen more guys were playing soccer (or football, as they would say). This was right near our car. On one of the trips back to the car from where we were setting up the tent, a Michael Jackson song came on and, somehow, I got roped into dancing to it. These French tourists loved it, asked us where we were from and seemed very polite. Sadly, this lively bunch wasn’t camping and the sun was going down. They left in their white party vans and, as the dust from their exit rose up, we ran back downhill to finish setting up. I don’t know what was more of an adrenaline rush: having to do the MJ dance in front of a bunch of randomly cheering French tourists in the middle of Monument Valley or having to rush to finish pitching the tent before dark set in.

The nearby Farview Hotel had sandwiches we could eat, but because we weren’t staying at the hotel we couldn’t sit down and order dinner from the menu inside. Buying a la carte was fine with us. Plus, there was a black-and-white western playing outside on a projector. We thought it’d be a better idea to sit outdoors at the café table and chairs, anyway. It took about 3 minutes for us to realize our mistake. A wild dog approached us from the darkness that blankets Monument Valley’s only inside-the-park hotel. Though initially startled when this animal appeared from the shadows, we were unconvinced that a lone dog was a threat. We slowly continued to eat our sandwiches while our eyes were glued on the dog. Suddenly, a second dog emerged from the hotel’s pitch-black perimeter and I saw a third’s ears perk up in the shadows. We didn’t wait for the third dog to approach us because we figured that there’d be more hungry wild animals if we stuck around. So, without delay, we scrambled back inside and finished our dinner in the confines of the hotel.

Driving back a couple of yards from the hotel to the campground wouldn’t have been a problem in the daytime, but there were no lights with the exception of my car’s dim headlights. So, we drove back very slowly, which is starting to become a trend on the camping portion of our roadtrip. But, there’s a benefit to the park’s pitch-blackness. It gave me an excellent opportunity to check out the countless stars in the sky using my binoculars. It was incredible how many more stars are visible from a dark location like Monument Valley than the suburbs of Philadelphia.

When we woke up this morning, we inquired about jeep or horseback riding tours through Monument Valley, but the Najavo guides wanted far too much money for what it was worth. We had already spent the night on the location where numerous westerns were filmed and we decided to pass considering the cheapest tour was $65 per person for a measly half hour of horseback riding. We had a similar hour-long experience in Palo Duro Canyon for $35, almost half the price for twice as long. So, we opted to save our money, bought lunch and campfire provisions (like S’mores) at Goulding’s Grocery Store and took a photo underneath the Arizona state sign, where the road to Zion National Park dips into Utah’s neighboring state to the south.

Zion National Park is 6 hours and 15 minutes from Monument Valley and, at some point during that time frame, our ice-filled jug broke and leaked water all over the back seat of the car. “Luckily” our pillows and sleeping bags soaked up a lot of the spillage and our camping provisions weren’t spoiled. This wasn’t much of a concern, though. We were too busy taking in the incredible mountains that make Zion a geographic wonderland.

The highway to Zion not only goes to these mountains, but through them. Since the mile long Zion-Mt. Carmel Tunnel was built in the 1920s, when automobiles weren’t the behemoths they are today, RVs and trailers require a $15 ranger escort. Thankfully, my compact Toyota Corolla did just fine through this narrow, single-lane underground highway.

The second we emerged from the arched tunnel passage on the other end, the park exploded with outstanding scenery. The tan sandstone was a perfect contract to the previous mile of darkness. There wasn’t an abrupt shift in elevation, as was the case when the car climbed the roads that led to Mesa Verde and Arches. But, this National Park did contain constantly snaking roads through rising mountains on both sides and a relentless sense of being dwarfed by nature.

Given a list of outside-the-park camgrounds at the visitor’s center, we chose the first campsite on the list, Zion Canyon Campground. Although located in the neighboring town of Springdale, it was just a minute from the park entrance and still contained sensational mountain views. On top of that, we were given the last spot adjacent to a babbling river, had a worn but useable grill and got a chance to set up our tent in the daylight for the first time.

On the suggestion of the kind woman at the desk of this RV and campsite, we bought two $7 innertubes for our riverside tent and extra campfire provisions at Sol Foods. Doing our best to avoid starting a wildfire, we took extra caution with the purchased lighter fluid and charcoal and then marveled at the first campfire we started like Neanderthals who had just discovered fire. We took a lot of unnecessary photos.

Cooking hot dogs over an open flame in the middle of a massive canyon could only be topped by one thing, assembling the dessert. We roasted marshmallows and Hershey’s chocolate bars, then sandwiched them between a pair of graham crackers. The guy in a neighboring tent, who humorously camped without his misbehaving teens, had our hotdogs topped by grilling a New York strip steak. But, nothing can top creating the traditional campfire treat known as s’mores.

Our steak-grilling neighbor suggested we check out the Emerald Springs when we explored Zion the next day, but first we had to tube down the river next to our tent. Two problems: The “river” was shallower than we had expected and the tubes were weaker than we had anticipated. Basically, we got sold innertubes meant for kids, so our butts touched the bottom of the river (more like a creek) intermittently. I could bear the colder than ideal water, but when I hit a rapid and flipped backwards onto some rocks, I was ready to give up. A moment later, we saw a young German woman floating behind us and thought if she could continue on, so could we.

The three of us helped each other continue down the river, but we gave up in about two minutes. That’s when we officially met Alexandra and her husband Roland, who wasn’t adventurous enough/was smart enough to avoid tubing down a shallow creek. They’re from Germany, specifically the Lake Constance area, which lies in southwest Germany and the northern corners of Austria and Switzerland. They were camping a few tents down and headed to Las Vegas, too. So, we dropped off our leftover wood and campfire supplies since we didn’t have a need for them. We also hooked them up with our hotel deal as they didn’t have a Vegas reservation yet and my cell phone number in case they wanted to meet up. We scurried off to the coin-operated showers and drove the half-mile to finally hike Zion.

Emerald Pools contains three trails: one, two and three mile roundtrip loops, the last of which has rocky terrain. Naturally, we wanted to hike all three. So, after a 20-minute shuttle ride from where we parked at the visitor’s center, we arrived at the Zion Lodge Castle Dome Café and loaded up on pizza to gain energy to complete the hike. As soon as we set out on the Emerald Pools first loop, located right next to the Zion Lodge, we noticed a lot of warning signs. Each loop contains cliff edges where hikers could easily lose their footing, especially when it’s wet. We headed the text and dangerous-looking silhouette pictures of a man falling off a cliff’s edge.

All of the waterfalls were reduced to scant trickles or were dried up completely due to the summer weather. Therefore, it’s better to visit Emerald Pools during the off-season, when cooler weather allows for gushing waterfalls. Still, we made the best of posing underneath of and next to the drips of water and thoroughly enjoyed the six-mile hike. I’m also grateful that I bought and wore hiking boots for this roadtrip. I opted to buy a pair of Merrell Moab Mid hiking boots that I originally thought were too expensive for what they’d be worth. However, now that I’m comfortable and still walking upright in these gortex-laced high-tops, I realize that my sneakers would’ve been torn up on the many jagged rocks.

The views of the intimidating mountains and steep cliffs were the real sight to behold here and, while taking photos from a scenic bridge, we spotted two deer frolicking through a riverbed. It ended up being a gorgeous place to hike for a couple hours and the complete opposite of our next destination. After posing in front of the Zion National Park sign on the way out, we were headed to a hotel with four walls, a bed with a real mattress and a shower that wasn’t coin-operated. Vegas, here we come.

The Nevada Mountains abruptly gave way to America’s city of lights and, although I’ve never been big on gambling, descending on the brightest city in the world made it impossible not to be excited about our four day excursion to electrified Las Vegas. I didn’t have any Frank Sinatra on my iPhone, but did manage to play a little Elvis and Bobby Darin as we rolled down Las Vegas Freeway toward the Stratosphere. We could see the tower from high in the Nevada Mountains since it stands 1,149 feet in the air, larger than the Seattle Space Needle, and could’ve probably found the next-door hotel we were staying in from sight if we didn’t have the reliable GPS.

As soon as we pulled up to the Stratosphere hotel, we anxiously hopped out of the car and sorted through the many bags in the back seat. We figured that the valet and bellhop would be shocked at all of our luggage from the roadtrip, but they were very patient and told us we could take our time despite the busy hotel entrance. Two suitcases, three garment bags, one laptop bag, one camera bag, and sneakers, dress shoes and sandals were among the items that made it onto the luggage cart.

Checking into the Stratosphere’s top floor, we were immediately impressed with the room even though we got it for the rock-bottom price of $33 per weeknight. We also took advantage of the Stratosphere’s dinner buffet, which was open until 10 PM, and made note of the convenient $20 all-day breakfast, lunch and dinner deal. We unpacked the remaining suitcases following dinner and showered in order to walk the Las Vegas strip.

Having arrived on a Tuesday and set out on the strip after midnight, there wasn’t much going on. I had been to the Four Seasons for a two-day business event in March and really enjoyed the small dance club-bar inside the Mandalay Bay casino. But, after we took a cross-town cab to get there, we found even that was closed. As we strolled down Las Vegas Boulevard and back to the Stratosphere, we were approach by two self-described “normal” girls looking to have fun. We passed. I’d like to keep my money / kidney.

Wednesday was more of a success from the beginning. We lunched at the hotel’s indoor McDonalds and lounged by the outdoor pool for more than two hours. Then, we went back to the room to get ready for Coyote Ugly and Studio 54. George read positive yelp! reviews about these clubs and they were located in New York-New York Hotel & Casino and the MGM Grand, which are right across the street from each other. But, while the reviews were positive, I wasn’t thrilled with either. Coyote Ugly features a bunch of random girls bartop dancing and guys being kowtowed into cheering them on, but doing nothing more than that. We stayed for about an hour. MGM Grand was $20 and felt very clickish and full of “VIPs.” We stayed here even less time, 45 minutes.

Sometimes, it’s the free clubs inside a casino that are the most fun. That was the case with EyeCandy Sound Lounge at Mandalay Bay. Not only was there no cover, but the ever-changing, multi-colored dance floor (think: Saturday Night Fever) was open to anyone. I met a couple of break-dancers and had a blast competing with them for the crowd’s attention and showing off the most interesting dance move combinations. Having worn a suit, this turned into a tiring, but exhilarating four-hour marathon.

We pretty much repeated the best parts on Thursday. Only, when we went poolside, Alexandra and Roland, the German couple we met at Zion National Park, joined us. They were in the same hotel and texted us about meeting up. We also met a brother and sister at the pool and teamed up for a game of water volleyball before heading to the buffet and back to the EyeCandy Sound Lounge.

Friday was our fourth and final night in Las Vegas, so we made sure that we checked off everything on our to-do list. First, we ate at Roxy’s Diner, a 50-style restaurant in the Stratosphere casino that offered tall tower-shaped plastic cups. We proceeded to buy passes to all three of rides at the top of the Stratosphere tower. Finally, we got tickets to one of the shows.

The observation deck, which sits 866 feet above the strip, is home to the three rides. The first is called Insanity, which extends riders 64 feet over the edge of the tower and spins from around with sickening 3 Gs of velocity. The second also sends riders over the tower’s edge. It’s X-Scream and looks like a rollercoaster, but travels straight down the side of the tower for 27 feet.

Finally, we went on Big Shot, the signature ride of the Stratosphere, the world’s highest amusement ride and, it shouldn’t surprise you, our favorite. It shot us 160 feet up the spire at 45 mph, reaching 4 Gs. At the ride’s highest point, we were 1,081 feet above the strip, but we quickly dropped back down at negative 1 G.

The night ended at Mandalay Bay’s EyeCandy Sound Lounge again. We tried to go to any of the three clubs at the Palms, but the line didn’t move and I personally enjoy the non-VIP, far-from-exclusive crowds at the cover-free bars. If there’s no rope-line, then count me in. We went back to Mandalay Bay and tried Rum Jungle for a change. We stayed there longer than any of the other bars that weren’t EyeCandy, but we shrugged our shoulders and settled for a third night alongside the break-dancers. At the end of having danced nearly four hours a night over the course of three nights, the rubber of my dress shoes was separating from the shoes itself. It was a testament to the good time we had at the EyeCandy Sound Lounge with its all-inclusive crowd.

We woke up, packed up and took photos in front of the famous “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign on our way out of the city. We also took photos in front of the state signs of Nevada and California when we stopped at a Carl’s Jr. on the border. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a Nevada state sign from Zion to Las Vegas, so we made up for it here. In three hours, we’ll arrive in Los Angeles, my new hometown and we will have completed the driving portion of this epic two-week roadtrip.

One month ago, we visited Long Beach Island, NJ and swam in the Atlantic Ocean. After two weeks of travel, we’ve arrived Los Angeles and swam in the Pacific Ocean. As we made our way across America, we’ve experienced plenty from end to end; we posed in front of every state sign, we stopped at every roadside attraction, we visited the country’s top museums, monuments and National Parks, and we heard a variety of accents, especially in Tennessee and Texas.

It ended last night in Burbank, where I now live, and this morning in Santa Monica, where we drove 25 minutes to check out the beach. Having lived in the landlocked state of Pennsylvania my entire life, I’m not used to having the ocean so close and I’m definitely not used to palm trees lining the streets. I’ve been to Los Angeles eight times before this, but this is going to be a completely unique experience just like driving here, a total of 3,700 miles, has been unforgettable.